love, the bond that ties...

did you know my mother? 

by mary lynn

Did you know my mother?

I'm told her name was Belle.

I don't know what she looked like

but have memories of her smell.

Did you ever hear my mother?

Did her cries pull at your heart?

I remember them quite clearly

when the men pulled us apart.

Did you drink from my mother?

Did you ever taste her milk?

Did you feel her face against yours?

Was her skin as soft as silk?

I've been told I had two brothers,

and my sister's numbered four,

Then my mother went to slaughter

of no value anymore.

Were you there with my mother?

Did you look into her eyes?

Did you see the fear within them?

Did you listen to her cries?

And now MY end is coming,

I am waiting with my friends,

We are huddled close together

In this place where all life ends.

Will you be there at our slaughter?

For the flesh you want to eat.

Will you ever think about us?

When you buy that piece of meat.

It’s my turn now, I’m moving,

I am going to my end.

I am urged with shouts and kicking

and with sticks that never bend.

I am thinking of my mother

and remembering her smell.

And I know we'll meet in Heaven

and forget this life called Hell.

Weronika Kolinska has created some stunning black and white artwork reproducing this poem graphically which adds even more poignancy if that's possible...

and this is the perfect post to share this video of a reunion between a mother and her child - beautiful - it's something no mother or child should ever have to experience, they should never be forcibly separated... you can read more on the background to this heart-rending/heart-warming story "Crying Mother Cow Greets Lost Baby In Breathtaking Reunion" 

the real matrix...

i've been meaning to post this video for a while now... presented by james wildman of the animal rights foundation of florida 'the real matrix - 101 reasons to go vegan' is 1 hour and 8 minutes of thought-provoking time well spent...

sit down, take a load off, and become absorbed in james' informative, entertaining, fascinating and compelling talk covering tradition, culture, inherited choices and health...

if 1 hour and 8 minutes is too long for you, perhaps melanie joy's talk fits your time scale better - 20 minutes in which she talks about inherited choices...

personally, i recommend both - similar messages, different styles of presentation, both articulate, passionate speakers - i could have watched each speaker for far longer than both videos ran...

 

"if we could live happy and healthy lives without harming others… why wouldn't we?" ... edgar's mission

one man's journey...

i watched this video yesterday and knew it was something that needed to be shared...

alex hershaft, 85 year old holocaust survivor and animal rights campaigner, talks about his life in the warsaw ghetto, and the connection he couldn't help but make between his harrowing ordeal and the holocaust that continues today... it's a fascinating insight into one man's journey through life, his awakening, his continued activism, his compassion...

"In relation to animals, all people are Nazis; 
for the animals, it is an eternal Treblinka"... Isaac Bashevis Singer

another story of awakening...

journalist, blogger and food critic Ori Shavit talks about her journey to veganism with humour and eloquence in this 13 minute video...

still procrastinating...

well, here it is, october now and i still don't have the incentive to get back into blogging - amazing considering there is a wealth of subject matter out there... i often think about it, but then i just move on without doing anything... i've had a lot of personal stuff to deal with over the last few months and it seems to have worn me out... so while i procrastinate a little bit longer and try to find my spark again i'll just share this youtube video with you... blues-y, rock-y music with a message, by a young man who goes by the name of evan rock...

seeing red...

what a morning... the mother had to go to the eye & ear hospital for a 9.30am appointment - doesn't sound too early hey, unless, of course, mornings are your worst time when elderly and infirm!!! so it was ringing her up at 7 to make sure she was okay and able to get up at that time... she was going to be able to do it so it was psyche-up time for me, then off around to her place for 8... 

being public transport users, and it being peak hour (usually extremely hard on me mum - 35-40 minutes standing upright is hard work for a frail 83 year old! and very few offer to give up a seat for the elderly these days!) we decided a cab was the best bet... but as that hadn't arrived after 20 minutes wait downstairs ("if you're ready and waiting now, the next available is on its way!") she wasn't hanging around... 

so it was back to catching a tram - and surprisingly it was relatively empty (must have been a lot of extended long weekend takers)... that tram only takes us a couple of stops though, and then it's onto another one - we catch the 112 at the terminus so we usually get a seat... we were travelling well all things considered - until, of course, the tram in front of us broke down!!!!! 

what can you do? nothing, so it was a matter of waiting patiently... luckily they had it moving within 15 minutes so we were still going to make it on time - my mother's always been one to be early (guess that's where i get it from) and panics even if she has plenty of time 'up her sleeve'... 

i was actually surprised when she asked me to go with her to this appointment - i always offer but she more often than not declines, her independence being important to her, but this time she wanted support - after today i can understand why...

this is the eye & ear hospital, right?! so, visual and aural - one might hazard a guess that everyone going there has a problem with either their sight or hearing?!i must have assumed wrong!

once we found the right floor - her letter hadn't arrived so we had no information as to where she had to go - i was astonished when, in a waiting room full of people - perhaps 50-60 - remember, hard of hearing and or seeing - they called out - ha, that's a joke, they virtually whispered in that environment! - the name of the next patient... the crescendo soon built though with "who", "did you call mrs...", "what was that", "what did they say"... lucky my hearing is good - i didn't want to miss judy's name being called out and ending up going to the back of the queue and waiting all day!!!!! 5 different clinics from the one area so then you have to scan every direction to see who is calling you and what direction they're sprinting off in... no, don't lose sight of them or you'll be lost in those little hidden away corridors forever...

i was to be astounded one more time though... when you finally get seen on this floor, then you're given your file and sent to another floor - "just follow the red (or black, or yellow) line (or whatever colour line goes to your department!!)" too bad if you have really, really poor vision like my mother (eye & ear hospital remember) - the result of kidney failure, glaucoma, diabetes, age (did i miss anything?)... oh, and nausea kicks in if she has to look up or down quickly or for any length of time...

we had to visit 3 different departments today, and i know why she wanted me with her now... she's losing her confidence and stoicism as her health declines, and these are scary places for our more frail senior citizens - they are invisible people who, without advocacy or support, get told nothing - they just get 'seen' and then moved on - they're stamped, dated and rotated... i was my mother's eyes & ears today... and i saw red... and black, and yellow...

this wasn't the post i had planned to write, but i'm still doing some research for that one after watching a documentary at the weekend, that'll be my next post...

for now though i'll leave you with the touching tale of suryia the orangutan and roscoe the dog that a friend sent me the other day... two lost and lonely beings who found friendship...

when no-one is watching...

atrocities are rampant and unchecked, as evidenced in the undercover investigative footage shown by lateline last week which resulted in the immediate closure of a nsw abattoir because of its appalling animal abuse… the following is an extract from the transcript of that exposé...

"The focus of cruelty in abattoirs is shifting to Australia from Indonesia.

Late today the New South Wales food regulator suddenly closed down an abattoir after viewing video footage which it says reveals, "acts of gross animal mistreatment".

The footage, taken secretly inside the abattoir north of Sydney, has been given exclusively to Lateline.

The New South Wales Food Authority is promising a full investigation of slaughter practices at the abattoir, which the authority says is the worst treatment of animals it's seen...

... Shot undercover over six days at the Hawkesbury Valley Abattoir near Sydney, this footage has been described by the NSW Food Authority as disturbing and containing acts of gross animal mistreatment.

Here, pigs are being dragged onto the sticking table. They should be rendered unconscious by a stunner before their throats are cut, but in this instance, it hasn't been done properly and the slaughterman reaches for what looks like an iron bar. The pig's head was pummelled seven times. A minute later, the same worker is at it again, this time beating another pig over the head 13 times." you can read more, or view the footage, here...

this is the second abattoir to close in australia within 3 months - and we supposedly have animal welfare standards in slaughterhouses… if that’s the case, i’m sure we can assume brutality (aside from the obvious brutality of slaughter itself!) is rife in all abattoirs in this country…

it takes dedicated people to get this information to the outside world… those who are prepared to take direct action – heroic people who are prepared to put themselves on the line by going undercover to expose the brutaliy... 

after this successful exposé, and having just received my copy of “behind the mask”, it seemed to be the perfect, most fitting time to watch this documentary about the animal liberation front – no longer a single, local grass roots organisation these days, but a global movement of clandestine animal rights activists - from undercover investigators to liberators and economic sabateurs – all fighting on behalf of animals and in protest against the animal testing, fur, entertainment, meat & dairy industries - a dangerous endeavour, with direct action activists now labelled the #1 domestic terrorist threat by the FBI...

directed and narrated by shannon keith, animal rights lawyer, founder of ARME and uncaged films (a production company founded after she learned that she had been an FBI target, labeled as an `animal rights extremist') - she “goes behind the mask and captures the hearts and souls of men and women who unveil their individual struggles for animal liberation.

Who are these “animal liberationists” and why do they believe that breaking the law is the best way to help animals? What inspires them to challenge the status quo, fight against all odds, and endure public reproach?

Behind the mask exposes never-before-seen footage that reveals the extent to which these individuals will go to save the lives of animals.’

People of all ages and backgrounds, from all over the globe, tell their tales of liberation, incarceration, sacrifice and determination, while exclusive underground footage reveals heart-thumping action sure to leave you wondering, who are these people…"

animal liberation front guidelines: 

• Liberate animals from places of abuse
• Inflict economic damage on those who profit from the exploitation of animals
• Reveal atrocities committed against animals
• Take all precautions against harming any animal, human & non-human

many animals have been liberated from unimaginable horrors, many lives saved... numerous activists have lost their freedom through years of incarceration… and still they don’t give up…

and the movement keeps growing, with more and more organised groups aligning themselves with the animal liberation front network, taking on even more animal abuse industries and exposing even more hidden practices, and more domestic and wildlife animal sanctuaries being established and providing refuge for the abused and displaced...

we have heroic, direct action activists here in australia too… passionate people such as debra tranter and lyn white (to name just a couple!!)... and there are many who prefer to remain in the background...

these dedicated people inspire me – they are proof that there is compassion in this world, that many are fighting the complicity of silence that exists within the status quo…

and let's not forgot all those who use their online presence to share these investigations, spread their stories around the world via blogs, social networks, petition sites - and those who get out and demonstrate, or email politicians to protest against the horrors... theirs is another layer of activism necessary to change this world...

all of these people make me proud to be a thinking, questioning womon, proud of my politics, my ethics, my morality, my veganism -  i'm proud to blog and demonstrate alongside so many other passionate activists, and i'm proud to be a part of this dynamic animal liberation movement…

it’s because of this global movement that others are starting to pull their heads out of the sand and become outraged - are you one of them? all you have to do is open your heart and mind…

you can view the official trailer here, or watch the first 10 minutes of the documentary below - perhaps after a glimpse you may want to watch the full 72 minute film available from arme - a proactive action in itself, as all proceeds help continue the fight for freedom and educate others...

 

#1 terrorist threat - you have got to be fucking kidding - i call them freedom fighters... pity the FBI and similar agencies take the side of corporate greed... in the words of john f kennedy:

"those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable."

liberating the 'spanish 40'...

while waiting for the estate agent - the "assistant relationship executive" actually (don't you just love the titles they come up with!?!!) - to arrive for a property inspection, i thought i'd share a video of the 4th rescue of arme's beagle freedom project...  

"On November 23, 2011, ARME's Beagle Freedom Project rescued 40 beagles from a laboratory in Spain where some had spent their entire lives. Others had come from other labs to the lab in Spain, only to be tested on in there. When we heard the lab was closing and the dogs would be killed, we stepped in and rescued them by flying them to Los Angeles, CA, to BFP Headquarters."

you may need some tissues handy - i did - but they'll be tears of joy you'll shed for these beautiful beagles, finally released from their imprisonment and torture... 

now i'm just going to ponder the prospect of another rent rise (far out, it was only 8 months ago the rent rose by $30 per week - surely they wouldn't put it up again so soon, would they??!!)...

novel ideas…

books… i've always found them to be a sensory pleasure, a sensual experience - the touch, the smell, the caress of the pages as you lose yourself in another life, another time, another world – but I’d never thought of them as tools for sculpting… after coming across a number of references and various graphics on different sites, i couldn’t resist following the trail to a more comprehensive article on a specific series of sculptures - 10  all up, anonymously left at various libraries and literary venues around edinburgh throughout 2011... here are 4 of those wonderful creations…

the scottish storytelling centre found a dragon nesting in a window with a note "once upon a time there was a book and in the book was a nest and in the nest was an egg and in the egg was a dragon and in the dragon was a story"

a gramophone and a coffin, sculpted from a copy of ian rankin’s "exit music" ... this one found at the national library of scotland with the note "A gift in support of libraries, books, words, ideas….. (& against their exit)"

this one includes a teabag filled with cut out letters, on the tag of which are the words “by leaves we live”. the cup on the top has a swirl of words which read ” nothing beats a nice cup of tea (or coffee) and a really good BOOK”, and on the ‘tray’ next to the cupcake it says “except maybe a cake as well”... left on a signing table at the edinburgh book festival with the note " ‘A gift’ This is for you in support of libraries, books, words, ideas…… & festivals xx

a tree, a ‘poetree’ with a paper egg lined with gold and a scatter of words which, when put together, make “a trace of wings” by edwin morgan... left anonymously at the scottish poetry library... the note for this one read "we know that a library is so much more than a building full of books… a book is so much more than pages full of words.… this is for you in support of libraries, books, words, ideas….. a gesture (poetic maybe?)"

they are amazingly delicate and intricate creations, but ohh the mystery and intrigue of it all... if your curiosity is piqued you can view all 10 and read their stories in this article "mysterious paper sculptures"...

while on the topic of books, i must recommend my last read...

turn of mind by alice laplante - no relation to lynda... the author has written non-fiction before, but this is her first novel, and what a stunner it is...

told from the perspective of jennifer white, a once-brilliant surgeon now suffering from alzheimer's and the prime suspect in a murder mystery... we learn the details of the crime through fragmentary conversations between jennifer and various people — some of them living and some dead...

it was a new style of writing for me and i was totally mesmerised - i couldn't put it down... it'll be a hard act to follow though...

while on the topic of writing...

do you have a story just waiting to be written? not just any story, but one that relates to the human-animal relationship? if so perhaps this is 'right up your alley'...

voiceless will be awarding a prize to recognise the best australian short fiction and non-fiction that "has at its heart the place of animals in the world we have made", and writers of fiction and nonfiction are invited to reflect on the ethical relationship between humans and animals.

"there is a rich world literature which takes animals - their feelings, wishes and desires - seriously." ... j.m. coetzee...

submissions should be between 5,000 and 10,000 words and should focus on animals produced for food or found in the australian landscape.

the winner chosen by the judging panel will receive $15,000, while the public will vote for the people’s choice to receive $5,000. all writers published in the collection will receive $500.

if you think your writing fits the brief, you can read more on the guidelines, and how to enter here... but don't procrastinate, entries close march 16...


while not on the topic of singing or music...

i can't end this post without acknowledging the death of the wonderful etta james, an extraordinarily talented singer... her life story is worth exploring in more detail - but she deserves a post of her own... so for now i'll leave you with some of her music...

  

a quick share...

i came across this youtube video via the youth page of the uk evolve campaigns website (and heartening it is to discover sites where young people are informed, passionate, and sharing their vegan philosophy with others) -  it's a compilation of cartoons by vegan cartoonist dan piraro and i thought i'd share...

and a friend sent me this video... a 'snow-boarding' crow having a ball on a roof slope ...

hmmm, forethought and enjoyment - another sentient creature exhibiting intelligence and emotion...

a 'tail' of freedom...

no words are necessary, the video 'says' it all... but you may shed a tear watching these rescued research beagles see sun and walk on grass for the first time...

melissa magic...

she hasn't been to australia since 1996, and for one reason or another i missed her extremely rare performances when she was here - but not this time!! i've been wanting to see melissa etheridge for so long now... once i discovered she'd be touring australia in 2012 and tickets were available online now, i wasn't passing up an opportunity to see one of my all-time favourite singers!!!!! her visits have been few and far between and she may not get back here again - not while i can still enjoy a concert anyway!!!

mind you, the concert isn't until july next year though - i guess at least i've got the anticipation leading up to that sunday in july, the 15th, knowing i'll be having a wonderful time watching melissa, enjoying  the music (i'll be getting right into it!!) - and i'll be sharing the evening with a close friend who likes melissa (almost) as much as i do... yes, we'll be there!!!! we've got our tickets!!!! (sorry, just a bit of a brag - and in case you can't tell, i'm excited!!)

what a pick-me-up after a weekend feeling like utter crap - yet another 'lurgy' going around (or perhaps it's the same one that's just been 'lying dormant')... having worked both an early and then a late shift in a row, i made it to work on friday only to have to leave because i felt terrible, with a majorly sore throat, ear ache, pounding head, and by the time i reached home i was coughing and spluttering too... but i did struggle to work on saturday afternoon - they were already one short for the morning shift - the call had gone out during the week but with saturday mornings only paid at 'normal time' up until midday there had been no takers - so i couldn't make them down one for the afternoon too!! but once i got home shadow and i just spent the rest of the weekend as couch fixtures... 

i'm a wee bit concerned for me mother too... she's a tad depressed at the moment... her eyesight's degenerating rapidly now due to her chronic kidney disease, and she was told on friday that blindness was more likely a probability rather than a possibility - her anger at the incompetence that led to this prognosis is understandable, as is her depression, and her tears (i've shed a few of those for her too)...

to end this post how could i not include some melissa magic... enjoy, i always do...

whatever happened to...

good, old-fashioned common sense? or maybe that should read competence?

i mostly do my shopping at iga in st kilda... all of the staff are courteous, and most competent - but i shudder when i'm next in the queue if there's one particular young womon on one of the checkouts - iga's setup is that you just stand in one long queue until called - i watch with dread when i'm getting closer to being called and this particular cashier is getting closer to finishing with her customer...

i have to say here she is a lovely, friendly young womon - always very cheery and chatty (she's doing a creative writing course, hopes to be a writer some day) - but perhaps this is one of her 'problems' - chatting and not taking notice of what she's doing... her weighing of things leaves a lot to be desired - one day i was charged $16.99 for one bulb of garlic when she served me, and if you watch her closely (which i suggest you do) she just rests her hand on the scales while weighing! we weighed the garlic again and it came to $1.89! now that's a big difference - it's not like i've got money i can afford to pay out for nothing - shows the necessity for vigilance (similar 'mistakes' have happened in the past!)...

then there are the fruit and veg items she's unsure of - if you check your docket you'll notice a number of things that appear on it but aren't in your shopping bag - but you'll have other items that don't appear on the docket - pity you're mostly getting charged for more expensive items - apparently anything unrecognisable to her is exotic and costly! personally i prefer someone to ask me "what's this"! call me naive but i'd assume there'd be staff training in food identification if that's part of their job!!

another problem - packing... now i've noticed a few youngsters have a problem in this area - they put the bread and tomatoes and anything squashable into the bag first and anything heavy just goes right on top... what's that all about - surely common sense tells you heavy stuff first, soft squashy stuff on top!!!! is this the secret management plan to do away with staff packing bags altogether?

yeah, you can tell i had a bad supermarket moment today - i got that young womon, after being called to another checkout to be told the young lad couldn't serve me because i had a bottle of wine and he didn't 'have a licence to sell alcohol yet' - that was the first thing i put on the counter but he waited until i had unpacked my basket before telling me - that meant packing everything back up again and going to the end of a now much longer queue... i was really pissed off!!! i suggest if they can't swipe through the alcohol iga sells, instead of calling 'next', they need to qualify it with 'next customer without alcohol'!!!!

sorry, i just had to have that gripe...

and now i'm going to have a glass of that wine while i do some baking - a veggie pie and a chocolate cake - good old (vegan) comfort food! - and then i'm going to settle down and watch some movies - perhaps i'll watch "Splice", about genetic engineering, then maybe "Daybreakers", an australian produced vampire movie with claudia karvan, sam neill, ethan hawke and willem dafoe - should be interesting at the very least!

i'll leave you with an amy winehouse video - a very talented young womon with so much potential and such a beautiful, powerful voice - but sadly a troubled young womon addicted to crack cocaine and alcohol and surrounded by sycophants - dead at 27...  farewell young sister...

a dog's tale...

take a dog, a human and throw in some compassion and what do you get? a wonderful, heartwarming story - thought it was worth sharing...

"Naki’o is the first dog to be fitted with a complete set of bionic legs that work naturally to allow him to run, jump and even swim. The prosthetics were designed and fitted in a pioneering procedure by Martin Kaufmann, founder of Orthopets.

Abandoned by a family fleeing their foreclosed home and their mother dead, Naki’o and his brothers and sisters barely survived the harsh Nebraskan winter. Weakened by malnourishment, the red heeler puppy stepped into an icy puddle in the basement and got his four paws stuck in freezing water.

At just five weeks old the litter was taken to an animal rescue center. Under the shelter’s care Naki’o's paws, lost to severe frostbite, healed to rounded stumps.

Veterinary technician Christie Tomlinson was on the look out for a playmate for her Jack Russell terrier mix Poki when she came across Naki’o. Fearful of the pain that walking and playing with other dogs would cause, Naki’o resigned himself to crawling along on his belly at home and at the veterinary clinic’s doggy daycare..." read more of naki'o's story at incrediblefeatures

one pissed off mother...

floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis… you have to admit, the mother (nature that is) has one helluva way of expressing her outrage – we (humans that is) continue to rape, pillage and plunder her while mutilating, torturing and murdering her other children, the ones we consider less than equal to human animals, (that’s every other animal in the world!) – so many atrocities committed against her, and yet still she only gives warnings when she could so easily wipe humans off the face of the earth (like we’ve done to so many others)… a forgiving mother trying to teach us to respect our family and our home…







mother nature by saya kodachi


'mothers day' – what does it actually mean? marla of vegan feminist agitator has written a wonderful post – universal mother – i love this sister’s posts, always poignant and articulate… it’s well worth the read, her views expressed eloquently as she states in her final paragraph “... one also doesn’t need to be a mother to be deeply driven to protect another … for mother’s day, i propose that we honor this natural drive within all of us to protect the ones we love, the ones who depend on our consideration, by not consuming the products of exploitation and cruelty. this common thread of wanting our babies to thrive is natural and noble, a key part of our essential being. whether we are men or women, children or adults, human or hen, that universal mother is in all of us. let’s celebrate without exploiting another innocent mother who had not only the autonomy of her body but also her babies stolen from her for our appetites. let’s connect to that profound mothering spirit that links us together. she wants her babies to be well and protected from harm. i think we can understand." (thank you marla, so beautifully stated - such a way you weave words!!)

it's been a 'frenzy of death' for horses unfortunate enough to be forced to participate in jumps racing here in victoria, with 5 magnificent creatures dying in 6 weeks - victoria and south australia are the only 2 states that persist in allowing jumps racing in australia - with 90% of victorians against jumps racing perhaps dennis napthine has a vested interest in it continuing - according to him "the victorian government will continue to support jumps racing." so please take a moment to check out animals australia unleashed and the coalition for the protection of racehorses...

perhaps something will change now that there have been 'human casualties'... although that doesn't seem likely after an abc interview where napthine stated "the incident has nothing to do with the controversy over the sport of jumps racing." - surely he's not that naive - it was a jumps meeting for fuck's sake, it wouldn't have happened otherwise (although other forms of horse racing kills as well!!) nah, more likely he's heavily invested in the jumps racing industry and has 'too much' to lose...

no animal should die in the human 'pursuit of entertainment' - let alone any other 'pursuit'!! - so at the very least we should all shed tears for casa boy, hammerblow, squire rex, java star and shine the armour...

from the rspca website

on that note, i'm going to do some reading - it's just a 'lazy' day for me after working yesterday - well, the back is a tad sore, has been on and off for a few days - problem with getting older and having a physically demanding job at times - i feel every day of 56 sometimes!!! so i'll be relaxing and recuperating rather than lazing!! i have favourite authors and long awaited books to catch up on... i've recently finished lisa gardner's latest psychological thriller "love you more" - brilliant, as usual lisa! as with this one, i seem to have a spate of highly reserved books coming through at the moment - which of course means a 2-week borrowing period... and my next read is no exception...

many people, like me, have been waiting a long time to read the final book in jean auel's epic earth's children series - a story that has been 6 books in the writing and three decades in the telling  - the first book, clan of the cave bear - was published back in 1980, when i first read it!!! needless to say i'm hanging out to get stuck into the land of painted caves!

time out...

after three and a half years of regular blogging i've decided to take a break - for how long? your guess is as good as mine... i've shared a lot of myself over that time, but now i have a need to contemplate, take stock and continue my life journey privately... perhaps it's an ending, or maybe a beginning - i might change the blog, or create a totally new one... who knows - only time will tell... 

i'll leave you with clips of two admirable womyn - both long term stayers in the fickle music industry - marianne faithfull with the ballad of lucy jordan and sharon o'neill with maxine...

           

a depressing dilemma…

it appears my carefully constructed work façade is starting to crack – i realised that when a colleague commented last week ‘you look okay sharon, but you sound totally disillusioned’… and the only response i could muster – ‘i am’…

at least there's work and life balance - disillusion and depression...

the security of a retreat in malmsbury is fast becoming a pipe dream, a once longed for illusion… after a bad few weeks involving a car accident, an assault and then the death of lucky boy, irene told me last week she's contemplating her future and the possibility of moving - and that move is likely to take her (and my louie) further away, closer to new south wales…

it's a decision that's totally understandable, but nonetheless depressing for me… the sanctuary i’ve been yearning for and which was seemingly so close now looks to be a receding dream… as is reuniting with my louie boy – i'm realistic enough to know he could never live in a flat (nor would it be fair to him - he’s used to being part of a pack, having space and barking a lot these days), and my only option as a city dweller is a flat - the rental on a house being way out of my solo-living, single-income league… that realisation has caused much heartache and many tears…

so now I grapple with possibilities for some sort of housing security as I age – the vagaries of the ever increasing cost and competition of the private rental market, or getting my name onto the community housing waiting list (available to those on low to moderate income with a percentage of 'stock' allocated for those over 55) - that though would entail cutting down a few hours to come within the income threshhold of $738 gross per week (as opposed to public housing which has a lower income threshhold) - i earn $683 per week net but then there's the compulsory weekend work for us lower banded workers… unfortunately it could take months or even years to be offered something – and that would mean trying to survive in private rental on even less income until an offer was made (which i could just afford staying here assuming they renew the lease and don't put the rent up!)… if the lease isn't renewed or the rent hike is massive (they didn't raise the rent last year so chances are there'll be a hike this year!!!) i'm fucked...

a dilemma indeed…

depression and disillusionment – a good start to a new year… and such a frugal few weeks it’s been to boot – with more frugality to come…

such a downer of a first post nearly a month into 2011 hey... while i wallow in self-pity i'll leave you with a favourite song... flame trees - sadly the co-writer and drummer of cold chisel – steve prestwich - died last week at the age of 56 (which is how old i’ll be in 3 months) – it has long been my very favourite chisels song...

simply magical...

it caught my attention earlier in the week when i heard of the death  of norman hetherington, puppeteer and creator of mr squiggle - one of australia's longest running childrens television programs... ohhh such childhood memories he helped create – magical moments of a black and white era of visual wonders - a very different technological world to now…

it was a time when simple pleasures exhilarated a child… mr squiggle entered our lives in 1959 (television only began transmission here in 1956!) – i was 4 years old – i was enthralled by this moon-dwelling marionette with a pencil nose who arrived in a rocket - and the grumpy talking blackboard used as an easel by mr squiggle... and of course the presenters - always female (obviously more empathetic to other-worldly beings!!!) - one of the longest stints being patricia lovell - 'miss pat' from 1960-1975...

i was totally mesmerised by that pencil nose and how quickly a few squiggles could be turned into a wonderful work of art (like i said, i was 4 – and i didn’t know someone else was pulling the strings!!)

simplicity is enduring though – after 40 years in production mr squiggle only ended in 1999 - although its black and white mystique was replaced by colour in the 70s, i guess it still held a unique appeal for kids...

it was a real family affair - margaret, norman's life companion and business partner, wrote the scripts, while he operated and voiced the puppets, with daughter rebecca a puppeteering assistant in the 80s and presenter in the 90s... here's a clip from a 1996 television report - a mini documentary about the beginnings and making of mr squiggle... enjoy...

and congratulations to larry the librarian and partner who have recently adopted lovely lottie - i certainly hope to meet her in the near future...

dancing up a storm...

it's been such a sad week with the death of lucky boy - fortunately there are many treasured memories - but his death has made me ponder my old girl's mortality, more so than usual anyway - you could say i've been a tad down the last few days...

a bad asthma day on thursday didn't help lighten the mood any... and to top the week off, i had to go out earlier yesterday which turned out to be a wet, miserable day and - of course - i got caught in the major downpour of the day and got totally drenched - after trudging home and sloshing inside, the clothes needed wringing out and i needed drying off!!!

fuck, i really needed cheering up - and with no incentive or enthusiasm for cooking i decided to get pizza delivered from mr natural gourmet vegetarian pizza - they'll 'veganize' any of their pizzas - being all vegetarian anyway just means they use vegan cheese! -  so i opted for the chilli bean pizza (double chilli, pineapple & mushrooms please!)... i don't buy much 'fast food' these days, so very rarely order home delivery - but i was in need of a treat - that means food i don't have to cook, a nice big mix and a clean bong!!!

with dinner ordered, allie and shadow fed, dirty bong water changed and mix made, all i had to do now was wait for the food to arrive, choose a movie to watch and then snuggle up with the gang... being able to borrow 6 dvds at a time from the library meant i had plenty to choose from... i often reserve online, when i get notification of new films that have recently arrived, so without viewing the item but going on the summary in the catalogue record means it can be quite interesting when you get the dvd in your hand - i sometimes wonder if some of the movies chosen this way would have attracted my attention had they just come across the circulation desk...

white lightnin' was one of those 'sight unseen' movies... since bringing it home i've picked it up and put it down a number of times - with reviews like "a phantasmagoric tumble into the dark corners of artistic genius, addiction and insanity..." (sundance film festival) - "a visually brilliant work. revolting and compulsive in equal measure" (the times) - 'imagine deliverance with a dash of charles manson' (the financial times) - i wasn't sure if i wanted to deal with bleak, dark themes just at the moment - but i decided to give it a go - i could always turn it off if it was too heavy for my mood, or if it sucked...

it's based on the life of jesco white, known as the 'dancing outlaw' - born and bred in bandytown in 1956, a tiny community of boone county, west virginia, deep in the heart of appalachia - real hillbilly country - an area afflicted with total and utter poverty...


he started huffing lighter fluid, petrol, glue - anything that could be sniffed - at eight years old... he was in and out of 'correctional facilities' much of his young (and some of his later) life, with self mutilation and delusional behaviour ensuring time spent in mental institutions... alcohol and any drug he could hit up also played a part in his mental state!! and he was no stranger to violence - both perpetrated upon him, and by him...

his father d ray white was renowned for his mountain dancing - known variously as flat-footing, foot-stomping, buck dancing, clog dancing, jigging - a form of frenzied tap-dancing... he started teaching jesco dancing in the hope it would keep him on the 'straight and narrow' - but he was a troubled lad from a cultural background most of us will never come in contact with or understand - think frontier and daniel boone (yep, that's who boone county was named after!) then strip away the romanticism and exaggerations - what's left? a poverty stricken, superstitious community steeped in 'old-time' religion, large families, domestic violence, family feuds, moonshine stills, multiple firearms in every household, limited access to basic education and facilities, limited employment opportunities, and the major likelihood of some degree of in-breeding - ohh, did i mention the extreme poverty, or the desperately bleak landscape of these mountain people?

on d ray's death (he was actually murdered) jesco inherited his dad's dancing shoes - having been taught his father's craft early in his life, he honed his style and took his 'show' on the road - but psychosis, depression and violence  were never far from the surface (he certainly didn't take heckling on stage very well!!!)... with so much substance abuse from a young age, its subsequent damage to a young brain, plus the psyche drugs ingested and injected over the years, along with his continued use and abuse of various substances - and of course the hillbilly culture itself - there's no doubt nor wonder he suffered mental illness... 

according to the plot summary of the documentary dancing outlaw the adult jesco white has three distinct personalities - "the gentle and loving Jesse, the violent and dangerous Jesco, and the extremely strange Elvis"... norma jean, who first married him in 1974, would have known all three - theirs appears to have been a very volatile relationship - they married three times, divorcing twice!!... she died in 2009 at the age of 70 so she was a number of years older than jesco who turned 54 this year... i'd like to know more of her life story, so i'll have to check out the documentary...

i found it compelling, bleak, sad, dark, violent, and touching - it's well worth the watch - but remember it is only based on his life - it appears fairly accurate according to the articles i've read, except the film sees him die at the end, when he is in fact still very much alive... hmm, the library doesn't have dancing outlaw though, i just checked the catalogue - might have to request it...

i had a bit of a wander over to youtube and found a clip of d ray dancing - and one of jesco - if you're intrigued...

the whole white family is infamous apparently, and have been the subject of a documentary - the wild and wonderful whites of west virginia - so if you want a brief insight into the white family clan, here's another clip...

by the way, the pizza was delicious!!!!! for under $20, i think that could be an affordable treat every once in a while...

what's it all about??

now call me old fashioned, or just plain old, i don’t care – but i don’t get ‘muck up day’… getting dressed up (in costumes or 'civies') and then being slathered in shaving cream, pelted with eggs, splattered with urine filled balloons (or condoms) - or the myriad other 'activities' some have gotten up to – just doesn't appeal to me... 

i’ve been trying to find the origin of the term and the day, which has proven quite hard… of course, my first thought was ‘typical american crap’ but it doesn’t appear to be american in origin – well, they don’t use the term anyway - but they do have something called senior pranks which doesn't discount the concept perhaps coming from america… muck up  is used informally in both britain and australia as in “to ruin or spoil; make a mess of” - but only australia uses it as in “to misbehave” – although i suspect that some ‘pranksters’ rather than just 'misbehave', do actually ‘ruin or spoil’ the day for others…

although they ‘celebrate’ muck up day in britain there is a view that “the term is originally australian and was probably imported to the UK through popular australian soaps such as neighbours.” – those lucky brits…

so, if it’s australian, when did it start? it wasn’t around ‘in my day’ – and speaking to some colleagues ‘of my vintage’ the other day at work supported this recollection…

research hasn't led me to any definitive date of origin... i couldn't find anything about it’s ‘inaugural unveiling’… but i did come across a blog by debbie kruger about her younger life in sydney in the 60s and 70s - she's about 7 years younger than me so i found her reminiscences stimulating and entertaining - she happened to mention her muck-up day in 1979 and i learnt “the last day of school before the HSC exams was traditionally known as "muck up day," and was celebrated with a pre-dawn champagne breakfast”... that little snippet took a helluva long time to find in my 'quest for knowledge'...

the education system was changing when I was at the end of my schooling though – we had the leaving certificate (form 5 then, year 11 now) and the matriculation certificate (form 6, now year 12) - hsc replaced matriculation in 1970 but the leaving certificate wasn’t discontinued until 1972 so it was dependent on which school you went to as to when hsc was actually introduced…

so, there really wasn't such a thing as muck-up day in my era!!! my generation (and 'socio-economic' group) usually  'celebrated' leaving school by going to work and earning our own income so we could move out of home and buy what we wanted - mind you, we were living in a time defined as having 'full employment' in 1970 - yeah, there were lots of low-paid factory and office jobs to be had!!


i wasn’t fortunate enough to be able to continue my education after form 4 – i had obtained a 2-year scholarship to undertake matriculation but that still would have been an added expense and pressure for my poorly paid, overworked and separated parents who were both trying to make ends meet, because I would have had to change schools (good ol’ holy redeemer only went to form 4 – it really was a poor, working class catholic school)… there was also the fact that unless you had at least middle-class wealth then you certainly weren’t going on to university so a lot of working class families couldn't see the point in going further than 4th form...

as i was no exception to the norm i subsequently started work as a receptionist/telephonist/typist/clerk in september 1970 at 15 earning $30 per week - that paid rent to my mother and bought everything i needed - i'd 'come of age'!!! that's me at 15 with my first beautiful poodle companion golly (the cameras were crap then and so were the photographers more often than not! and scanning a poor quality picture doesn't help!!) …





luckily further education became easier for more people and those less 'well-off' were soon given the opportunity to go to university when, in 1974, gough whitlam and the labor party introduced an important reform in education – “the abolition of university fees, which allowed many young people and, importantly, women, an opportunity to obtain a university degree and broaden their career choices.”

it was an important change in australian education and an important time in australian politics, but now i've got domestics to do so i'll leave you with one of the  top 10 selling singles by australian artists in 1970 - the year i was venturing out into the world as a young adult - the masters apprentices with 'turn up your radio' - "bona-fide Australian rock legends" according to milesago - and what 15 year old wasn't lusting after jim keays in 1970???