one of 'those' weeks...

well, me mum's 'cold' did turn out to be pneumonia!! we had to race her into hospital last sunday because she couldn't breathe... we got to emergency about 1 pm and left her in what we hoped were capable hands 7-odd hours later...

'they' did just want us to sit in the waiting room until she could be seen, but after convincing the triage nurse that she needed oxygen we got her onto a trolley albeit in the corridor but it was at least on the right side of the doors!!! the corridor turned out to be a busy area, but she was soon moved into a cubicle and onto a proper bed where she stayed most of the night for monitoring and was then moved to the acute medical unit where she spent the next few days...

going to the emergency department with a chronically ill person can be a problem though... they treat the obvious symptoms but we had a time and a half getting them to understand the chronic nature of the renal failure she's dealing with which can be impacted by the medication they were giving her... and then they were quite prepared to send her home once she could breathe properly - until the treating doctor finally took in "she only has 14% kidney function"... that's when she was told she'd be staying overnight and seeing a renal doctor... and that's when it was decided she would need to be observed for most of the week... she wasn't happy at having to stay there!!!

i can understand her hesitation at the thought of hospital - last time she had pneumonia she was given the wrong medication that almost killed her... then she had 'keyhole' surgery on her gallbladder which was where the kidney problem originated - they 'nicked' her kidney which has caused her renal failure... nah, she doesn't have a good time when she goes into hospital - nor does she have any confidence in 'them'!!!! and of course, there was a major incident when they gave her a steroid to help her lungs, which made her blood sugar level skyrocket to 19 millimoles per litre - the average for most people is somewhere between 4 and 8 - so that was dangerously high - they had to give her insulin to stabilise her but there was a real possibility of her falling into a diabetic coma - lucky they didn't just send her home with that medication!!!

the staff were lovely though... oooh, i should qualify that - the nursing staff and allied services staff along with the junior medical staff were wonderful - not so the senior teaching doctor (the alfred is a major "tertiary referral teaching hospital") that was dealing with her 'case' - he was such an arrogant prick (even the nurses agreed with that) - does that come with the 'territory' - the 'better than' attitude - the specialist 'i get paid a lot therefore i'm better' syndrome?? he very rarely acknowledged her and when he did actually speak TO her he treated her like a child, as though she couldn't possibly understand (or be interested in) anything about her own health - oh, he didn't acknowledge the family might be interested either but just spoke in 'doctor-ese' to the junior staff as though none of us were present - definitely no bedisde manner there!!!!

anyway she's home now and starting to feel 'fighting fit' (well, as much as a chronically ill older person can!!!) and we've finally been able to talk her into home help, which has been arranged by the hospital and will continue through council and community services and will be ongoing to enable her to stay living independently - and that's a fear a lot of older infirm people live with - the fear of losing their independence, their home, their friends...

okay, i think a fitting end to this post would be some more pictures of me mum... she was between 14 and 16 when these were taken so it was around 1945...

funny the things we don't know about our parents... i never knew she could ride a horse until i saw this photo (and asked her whether this was just a 'posed' shot or whether she could actually ride!!!) - this would have been at either the relo's in healesville or romsey...

and i can tell from the stance and lack of smile that she wasn't impressed when this one was being taken... and for some reason i think of 'little bo peep' whenever i look at this photo!!!

and this one is with me nan (and by the looks of it possibly me nan's birthday with a card sitting in front of her!)

there used to be a wonderful cafe (or was that tea-room, restaurant, or eatery) in collins street where time seemed to have 'stood still' - you went down a very steep wooden staircase to enter into a bygone era, but i can't remember it's name now - i can tell by the decor that's where this picture was taken - it seems many generations of melburnians enjoyed this little gem over the decades - probably just 'the norm' in dining in me mum's era but it was definitely a little bit of 'old world charm' in my more modern world!!

I was reading Curvy Kitty’s blog the other night, and her depiction of tea, scones, jam and cream in the wonderfully evocative post "a day at the gallery" started me thinking about me nan (that's her, with poppa joe - sorry, it's a bit 'fuzzy' - it's a really old photo)…

It didn’t matter when you dropped in to nan’s, there was always a pot of tea on the go (with, of course, the obligatory knitted tea cosy), home made goodies aplenty – lemon slice, rum balls, white christmas, chocolate slice, cupcakes, shortbread, sponge, trifle, pavlova, and if you were there at the right time, hot scones, jam and cream…we all used to get a box of goodies at the end of the year (xmas to some) – a welcome (and anticipated) treat - especially when you had the munchies!!!!!

I can’t help but laugh when I recall a scene she vividly described one day. She liked to write poetry (some of which I’ll upload sometime), and when poppa retired he was, as most men of his era who'd worked long hours all their lives, at a loss as to how to fill in his day. Of course this was bound to affect nan’s personal space – especially her precious writing time.

She was writing in the kitchen as was her want when poppa walked past and commented “doing some writing” – the next ‘pass through’ elicited “still writing” – after a few more 'interruptions' and one too many "still writing" questions, me nan was pushed to retort “no, I’m doing an Irish jig in the backyard!!!!”

His retirement wasn’t boding well for her equilibrium!!!

a tea party with kate.... or, memories of visits to nan's in the 60s & 70s

i walked back in time yesterday when i shared the afternoon with kate and friends - nan would have been proud - the tea pot never went cold at nan's, and neither did it at kate's... and the home baked goodies never stopped coming either...

lemon slice, macaroons, cheesy choux pastries, butterfly cakes, chocolate cake, cucumber sandwiches, ricotta-prune-chocolate cakes, honey cakes, banana cake... and tea, conversation, tea, conversation, and more tea... it was an extremely pleasant gathering...

just thought i'd share this slideshow with you...

and thought i'd share Sailor Lil's latest 'brag shot' ... both looking happy, contented, sated... a beautiful photograph...

strange, this mother/daughter relationship...

"we've never really been a demonstrative family" me mum said today as she handed me an envelope, "and I'm not very good at saying how I feel" - so it was touching when I read the card she gave me...

seems that our relationship is changing - we get on a lot better now... all the powers of attorney (medical and general) have been sorted... we're talking about what she really wants at the end... she can still get around sort of... she gets so very tired so very easily... and she's a lot more feeble now... that's a shock - for her as well!!! - but she's still wanting to be so very independent - that's my mum for you!!!

we had a good talk and laugh looking through some photos today... she's going to go through all her photos and write what she remembers on each of them (none of us have ever really been good at 'organising' that sort of stuff - Judy's photos are just shoved into a box!!!!)

so many memories in that box though - from me great-grandmother (Nanny Great!!) who ran away from New Zealand with a catholic priest!!! - to me great-grandfather who was gay - he and my great-grandmother (Nanny Bev) did what was expected of them (at a time when the only accepted relationships were heterosexual) - they had kids... me nan had the mandatory family and could 'hold her head high' as a "fulfilled woman" - but she didn't have to have the man around all the time... Grandfather, having married and 'bred', could live his life (he was an 'artiste' - very bohemian!!!) and spend his time with his actual life partner, Les.

Ooh, there are soooo many stories - Grandfather was actually my step-great-grandfather, my grandfather was my nan's second husband (in a time when divorce wasn't easy!!!) - she threw the first husband out - he was apparently a no-hoping womanizer!!!!

Maybe some of the pictures I get from me mum will inspire me to write about some of these people in depth...

anyway I'm off for eleven days straight starting from this saturday - so I can see myself blogging a bit more then...