dancing up a storm...

it's been such a sad week with the death of lucky boy - fortunately there are many treasured memories - but his death has made me ponder my old girl's mortality, more so than usual anyway - you could say i've been a tad down the last few days...

a bad asthma day on thursday didn't help lighten the mood any... and to top the week off, i had to go out earlier yesterday which turned out to be a wet, miserable day and - of course - i got caught in the major downpour of the day and got totally drenched - after trudging home and sloshing inside, the clothes needed wringing out and i needed drying off!!!

fuck, i really needed cheering up - and with no incentive or enthusiasm for cooking i decided to get pizza delivered from mr natural gourmet vegetarian pizza - they'll 'veganize' any of their pizzas - being all vegetarian anyway just means they use vegan cheese! -  so i opted for the chilli bean pizza (double chilli, pineapple & mushrooms please!)... i don't buy much 'fast food' these days, so very rarely order home delivery - but i was in need of a treat - that means food i don't have to cook, a nice big mix and a clean bong!!!

with dinner ordered, allie and shadow fed, dirty bong water changed and mix made, all i had to do now was wait for the food to arrive, choose a movie to watch and then snuggle up with the gang... being able to borrow 6 dvds at a time from the library meant i had plenty to choose from... i often reserve online, when i get notification of new films that have recently arrived, so without viewing the item but going on the summary in the catalogue record means it can be quite interesting when you get the dvd in your hand - i sometimes wonder if some of the movies chosen this way would have attracted my attention had they just come across the circulation desk...

white lightnin' was one of those 'sight unseen' movies... since bringing it home i've picked it up and put it down a number of times - with reviews like "a phantasmagoric tumble into the dark corners of artistic genius, addiction and insanity..." (sundance film festival) - "a visually brilliant work. revolting and compulsive in equal measure" (the times) - 'imagine deliverance with a dash of charles manson' (the financial times) - i wasn't sure if i wanted to deal with bleak, dark themes just at the moment - but i decided to give it a go - i could always turn it off if it was too heavy for my mood, or if it sucked...

it's based on the life of jesco white, known as the 'dancing outlaw' - born and bred in bandytown in 1956, a tiny community of boone county, west virginia, deep in the heart of appalachia - real hillbilly country - an area afflicted with total and utter poverty...


he started huffing lighter fluid, petrol, glue - anything that could be sniffed - at eight years old... he was in and out of 'correctional facilities' much of his young (and some of his later) life, with self mutilation and delusional behaviour ensuring time spent in mental institutions... alcohol and any drug he could hit up also played a part in his mental state!! and he was no stranger to violence - both perpetrated upon him, and by him...

his father d ray white was renowned for his mountain dancing - known variously as flat-footing, foot-stomping, buck dancing, clog dancing, jigging - a form of frenzied tap-dancing... he started teaching jesco dancing in the hope it would keep him on the 'straight and narrow' - but he was a troubled lad from a cultural background most of us will never come in contact with or understand - think frontier and daniel boone (yep, that's who boone county was named after!) then strip away the romanticism and exaggerations - what's left? a poverty stricken, superstitious community steeped in 'old-time' religion, large families, domestic violence, family feuds, moonshine stills, multiple firearms in every household, limited access to basic education and facilities, limited employment opportunities, and the major likelihood of some degree of in-breeding - ohh, did i mention the extreme poverty, or the desperately bleak landscape of these mountain people?

on d ray's death (he was actually murdered) jesco inherited his dad's dancing shoes - having been taught his father's craft early in his life, he honed his style and took his 'show' on the road - but psychosis, depression and violence  were never far from the surface (he certainly didn't take heckling on stage very well!!!)... with so much substance abuse from a young age, its subsequent damage to a young brain, plus the psyche drugs ingested and injected over the years, along with his continued use and abuse of various substances - and of course the hillbilly culture itself - there's no doubt nor wonder he suffered mental illness... 

according to the plot summary of the documentary dancing outlaw the adult jesco white has three distinct personalities - "the gentle and loving Jesse, the violent and dangerous Jesco, and the extremely strange Elvis"... norma jean, who first married him in 1974, would have known all three - theirs appears to have been a very volatile relationship - they married three times, divorcing twice!!... she died in 2009 at the age of 70 so she was a number of years older than jesco who turned 54 this year... i'd like to know more of her life story, so i'll have to check out the documentary...

i found it compelling, bleak, sad, dark, violent, and touching - it's well worth the watch - but remember it is only based on his life - it appears fairly accurate according to the articles i've read, except the film sees him die at the end, when he is in fact still very much alive... hmm, the library doesn't have dancing outlaw though, i just checked the catalogue - might have to request it...

i had a bit of a wander over to youtube and found a clip of d ray dancing - and one of jesco - if you're intrigued...

the whole white family is infamous apparently, and have been the subject of a documentary - the wild and wonderful whites of west virginia - so if you want a brief insight into the white family clan, here's another clip...

by the way, the pizza was delicious!!!!! for under $20, i think that could be an affordable treat every once in a while...

goodbye lucky boy...

a beautiful friend died this week... so unexpected and so very, very sad... many tears have been shed over this gentle, handsome boy...

i was fortunate to have developed a close relationship with this beautiful companion of my dear friend irene - lucky (aka the old man and luscious lucky amongst other endearments)...

sadly he died yesterday - he'd been healthy all of his twelve years - so heart failure was unexpected - but poodles are prone to many things due to genetic manipulation over time, heart problems being one of them...

Until one has loved an animal,

a part of one's soul remains unawakened.

Anatole France.

it's a sad time for all who knew and loved him, but a much sadder time for irene...

goodbye luscious boy xxx

courageous, strong and free at last - again...

Aung San Suu Kyi has been released 'unconditionally' according to all reports... 

it's been a hard-fought-for outcome by the long-suffering people of burma / myanmar,  and human rights supporters worldwide...

but you have to wonder what ulterior motive lies behind the military junta's decision to end the 7-year house arrest of the country's most notable human rights advocate, freedom fighter and nobel peace prize laureate... after all, an appeal against her detention was rejected by the supreme court in february, and her latest appeal on november 11 was also rejected... perhaps after 'winning' the sham of an election on november 7  (the 'fifth phase' of the junta's roadmap to democracy) an extension of her detention order (which expired on november 13 anyway!) would have been seen as counter to their 'roadmap' (and proven their lack of 'commitment' to the democratic process) - oh, it probably would have caused worldwide outrage too!!!

since co-founding the national league for democracy in 1988 aung san suu kyi has spent 15 out of the last 22 years in detention (see timeline) so it's highly unlikely that the fraudulent 'government' will allow her to resume her political activities as leader of the nld 'regardless' -hmmm, guess we'll just have to wait and see how threatened they feel by her and what 'freedom' they allow her...

aung san suu kyi - a strong, courageous womon...

"You should never let your fears prevent you from doing what you know is right." 

yummmmmm....

i was inspired yesterday when i came across a very quick and easy, no-bake chocolate cheesecake recipe - vegan of course... so i had to make one (with a couple of minor changes) and this was the result... berries would have been a nice topping but i only had chocolate chips (and they only went on one piece - should have melted and then drizzled the chocolate over!!!) still, simple yet delicious - although i did have the munchies at the time so perhaps anything sweet would have been delicious...

my (slightly altered) recipe...

1 1/2 containers soy cream cheese (i used tofutti)

150g of dark dairy-free chocolate (i only had sweet william and only about half the required amount - and it's really only good for 'emergencies' - now a good quality raw dark chocolate would have made it richer - next time!!)

big slurp of dark agave syrup (i only had light syrup on hand but it's not as dense and full-flavoured)
approximately 8 plain biscuits (e.g. leda golden crunch or mcvities digestives)

3 tablespoons of nuttelex
cake tin or dish (in hindsight i should have lined this with baking paper!)

crush the biscuits until crumbs

mix the crumbs with the nuttelex until it all sticks together

pat down the crumb mixture on the bottom of the sandwich tin

place in freezer until finished next part of the recipe

for the filling:

place cream cheese in a mixing bowl

melt the chocolate and fold into cheese

add agave syrup
mix thoroughly

take the crust out of the freezer

pour the mixture into the sandwich tin

level out with spoon

put in fridge for 3 hours to set;

after set, top however you'd like and enjoy!!!

and no, allie and i haven't eaten it all - yet!!! for all her other elderly infirmities me old girl's sense of smell is amazing - that nose twitches away - then she's off the couch and on a mission - doesn't take her long to zoom in on her target!!! even shadow doesn't mind the filling (fuck the biscuit base he reckons though!!)

psychic warriors and torturous tunes...

i watched ‘the men who stare at goats’ last night... having read jon ronson’s book a few years back it was disappointing that the movie didn’t quite succeed in 'capturing' the very dark humour contained within the book... hugely entertaining yes, but terribly disappointing that the seriousness was lost in the ‘hollywood-izing’ of the subject matter…

granted, the book did have comedic value – as in, if it wasn’t real it would be funny – but it was more frightening for being true – that didn’t quite come across in the movie…

the book is an expose of the american army’s venture into paranormal and psychic warfare with the aim of creating a breed of super soldiers who could become invisible at will... remote viewing was one of their 'specialties'… there are many accounts of the existence of a 'goat lab' at the special forces command center at fort bragg, north carolina (the number of de-bleated goats at any one time fluctuates between 30 and 100 depending on which account you read) - why? for the purposes of testing the psychic abilities of the 'warriors' to stop the hearts of the goats by staring at (and psychically zapping) them - the basis for the title..

jim channon (lieutenant colonel) is one of the major players in the book - on his return from vietnam in the 70s he had contact with a group called the human potential movement - and drawing on their philosophy came up with his idea of a new military to be organized along 'new age' lines - the first earth battalion…

“LTC Channon believes the Army can be the principal moral and ethical basis on which politics can harmonize in the name of the Earth. Since "Earthkind" has grown from pack to village, to tribe, to territory, and then to nation, LTC Channon envisions going from nation to planet next, and thereby declares the First Earth Battalion's primary allegiance to the planet. Making the planet whole requires the ethical use of force based on the collective conscience.” In his operations field manual titled Evolutionary Tactics, LTC Channon lists some of the important missions of the Earth Battalion as:

Urban pioneers

Counter hostage force

Disaster rescue

Eco pioneers

Animal rescue

The First Earth Battalion will organize itself informally: uniforms without uniformity, structure without status, and unity powered by diversity, since its members will be multicultural, with each race contributing to "rainbow power." As a guiding principle, members of the First Earth Battalion seek nondestructive methods of conflict resolution because their first loyalty is to the planet.”

hmmmm... "the ethical use of force" - whose ethics, and how much force? of course, what’s an army without force??

another major player was albert stubblebine (major general)… “A proponent of psychic warfare, Stubblebine was involved in a U.S. military project to create "a breed of 'super soldier'" who would "have the ability to become invisible at will and to walk through walls"...

stubblebine led the army’s intelligence and security command (inscom) for a few years and this group was actually given the go-ahead to implement some of channon's 'vision'...

“Within weeks of the publication of the First Earth Battalion operations manual in the spring of 1979, soldiers throughout the U.S. Army began seriously trying to implement his ideas. One example was when the Army's Intelligence and Security Command (INSCOM) began developing its own remote viewing program in 1979, which was a parapsychological intelligence gathering method that had already been experimentally tested at Stanford Research Institute** since 1972 by parapsychologists Russell Targ and Harold Puthoff. Channon's principles trickled through the services and even contributed—through ramblings about lifting soldiers to a higher spiritual realm—the Army slogan Be All You Can Be. Keying off of Channon’s blueprint, a Special Operations experimental team, dubbed “Jedi Warriors,” after the Star Wars craze, were trained in a wide array of Eastern oriental martial arts and meditative techniques, combined with super strenuous physical training programs."

(** coincidentally uri geller was tested at the stanford research institute (and features promintently in the movie - george clooney's character is based on him!!) - interesting that he is considered one of the more exceptional and talented psychics by some, a fraud by others, and a de-commissioned psychic warrior by the rest - he was purportedly 'head-hunted' by stubblebine's stargate project!!!)

of course, the military being what the military is, they weren’t ever going to be 'all pacifism and peace'!!! the first earth battalion manual proposes the use of music to effect "psychic mind-change"... 'naturally', they took the  use of music to epic proportions – it became a means of torture – we’ve all heard of guantanamo bay and abu ghraib…

“In September 2003, Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez, the U.S. military commander in Iraq, approved the use of music as part of a package of measures for use on captured prisoners "to create fear, disorient ... and prolong capture shock," and as is spelled out in an explosive new report by the Senate Armed Services Committee into the torture and abuse of prisoners in U.S. custody (PDF), the use of music was an essential part of the reverse engineering of techniques, known as Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape (SERE), which are taught in U.S. military schools to train personnel to resist interrogation.” … from ‘a history of music torture in the war on terror’ by andy worthington, historian, journalist and author of ‘the Guantanamo files’…


if you're wanting to read more, the real story of the men who stare at goats by journalist danny penman makes for a good read... and so does "the pentagon's twilight zone" by journalist sally squires...

so, though the movie was entertaining, it 'lost something in its 'slapstick' translation'… I’d definitely recommend the book over the film...

and what better way to end this post - here's "kiss my ass" by country joe mcdonald...

moving the masses...

i was 'transported' back in time the other evening when i read kitty's post ‘ding, ding’ - it brought back memories of the time i spent on the trams as a connie… it wasn’t a long stint, 12 months – but it was an interesting and stimulating time… it was 'world's away' from working life in an office (or a library) - my mother was horrified when i told her i was leaving the 'security and prestige' of a government typing job to become a connie; she actually told me i needed to see a psychiatrist - it really was seen as much lower down the rungs of the working class ladder! - perhaps that was partly the reason i did it... to 'erk' my mother (mother-daughter relationships and all that!!!)

it was the end of the 70s, and the w-class trams were the mode of public transport on melbourne streets – safety was somewhat questionable – note the only ‘safety feature' on the doorways was a drop down bar… in winter there were canvas blinds to pull down to keep the weather out (ha ha ha) – unfortunately the 'getting on and off side' was always open to the elements… and that could be pretty dangerous if you were in the wrong place going around a corner with a bad driver!!!! the commercial road turn into st kilda road was deadly – i almost fell out the tram a few times at that one (i learnt to make sure i was hanging on)!!!! they had started to 'incorporate' sliding doors into the design but it took years to fully implement the 'upgraded' model...

us connies came kitted out with bag, tickets, thumb (or finger) rubber, small cash tin and ticket-clipper – i loved my ticket clipper – did you know that each one had a different hole-punch pattern? i was quite fascinated by that when i found out (but i don't know if it was always the case)... and kids just loved the stubs of the tickets – such simple pleasures just don't do it for them these days!!!

the bags got really heavy though – we had a number of different priced tickets and most commuters had the ‘exact change’ – and that included 1 and 2 cent pieces - some paid their whole fares with these pesky coins!!! (of course there were always those that 'tried it on' for a free ride by getting on with a big-denomination note hoping you wouldn't be able to change it - guess what, coinage was something we had plenty of - and if you really pissed us off that's all you got back for change!!!)




it was around 4 hours before you got back to the depot for your meal break (where you could empty the first half's takings into your locker) so you had to carry the weight for a long time - you could empty some into your tin, but they were only small (and then there was nowhere safe to put that - the drivers compartments weren't safe and enclosed like they are today) so roaming the trams meant you had to carry everything...

doing the early shift – the shifts ranged from a 5am start to a 1am finish – was always interesting… you had to give two bells to let the driver know it was safe to move off, so on those freezy-cold mornings you had to unwrap your hunched up body to stand up - well, i did anyway being one of the shorter connies (5'2") - and it didn’t matter how empty the tram was – if it was a cold morning some fucker would come and steal your warm seat - they’d just slip in right behind you!!! of course i always felt compelled to acknowledge "it's cold, hey" and they never ceased to amaze me by replying "yes, lucky there's a warm spot to sit in"!!! so off you would wander to warm up another spot for the next passenger!!!

unlike some connies i didn’t mind pension days  – i loved the elderly people who’d chat away and tell you about their lives, and conspiratorially utter to you how "i wouldn’t want your job for quids love, having to cart that heavy bag around" - yes, the older folk understood!!!

there was heavy lifting involved in a connie's job - helping people with jeeps and prams - mind you, people with jeeps or prams weren't supposed to be stopped for during peak hour, because the whole point of 'peak hour' was to get the factory and office 'fodder' to work on time!!! fortunately not many workers took notice of this 'directive' (although if you hurt your back in the 'pursuit' of this non-sanctioned assistance you could well have a fight on your hands!!!)

there were characters like the ‘shopping jeep womon’ – the first time I tried to help her up with her heavy jeep I got majorly verbally abused – her standard reaction apparently so needless to say I quickly learnt she didn’t like to be helped…

there were the homeless people who spent their days riding the trams (sadly a capitalist society will always produce poverty-stricken people) - the derelict alcoholics were sad sights (and some smelled so bad but of course insisted on standing right next to you!!!) but they were (usually) harmless.. unfortunately some drunks (not necessarily the derelict) would drink on the tram and become downright aggressive and violent - booze wasn't meant to be consumed but ever tried telling a drunk that they can't drink on the tram? ever tried getting a drunk off a tram because they were threatening the passengers? (we're talking drunk people with glass bottles - deadly weapons - in their hands here!!)

'drug-addicts' (why doesn't that include alcoholics???) didn't pose the same problem as they do today because chemically altered 'designer' drugs weren't widespread then - smack and speed were the 'heavy' drugs, lsd was still quite popular, along with the prescription drug mandrax... home-grown dope was the most used and pretty much socially acceptable - what can i say, it was the 70s... marijuana was 'safe' then... until the 'scientists' got hold of it and decided to chemically alter seeds which made certain strains so toxic that their crops were possibly deadly and couldn't be smoked until a couple of 'generational strains' down the track!!!! these days there are way too many 'entrepeneurs' and way too many dangerous (if not lethal) chemical combinations!!!!

there were the lovely little kids from struggling families on their way to school – funny how they were the ones that always offered to pay their fares (unlike the little shits from the rich private schools!!!) – there were times you'd ask, to be told a child had nothing for lunch so, like many connies, i would give them a ticket (inspectors were routinely rostered on most routes so a ticket was a must) and tell them to buy something to eat for lunch (or breakfast!) with their fare (and perhaps a little bit extra thrown in out of my own pocket) - of course the ticket shortfall had to be made up… tickets were all accounted for at the start of each shift, and connies had to maintain a daily running sheet, so when you paid in at the end of the day tickets and money needed to balance - of course if you were under, it came out of your wage - if you were over, well you never saw that...

it was still a politically volatile time in the tramways - the management and union were extremely conservative - they didn't like strong, politically active people in 'their' ranks - i'd joined the tramways along with 4 other friends and we were all 'quite political'... hey, this was just 4 years after womyn had gained the right to drive trams in 1975...
 
"After an attempt in 1956 by the M&MTB to train two conductresses to drive, the ATMOEA went on a snap strike, and passed a resolution banning women drivers.

With the development of the women’s rights movement in the late 1960s, female tramway employees gained new hope and began a concerted push to become drivers. Joyce Barry played an integral part in this campaign. In May 1973, the M&MTB attempted to train Joyce and a colleague, Catherine Stone, as drivers, but the union immediately declared the Wattle Park line black, withdrawing services and forcing the M&MTB to stop their training."

this wasn't to stop joyce barry though...

"Much rancorous discussion was held at this union meeting, until Joyce Barry stood up and uttered the immortal line, “I don’t need a penis to drive a bloody tram!” This single statement swept away all union opposition to the proposal by exposing the moral bankruptcy of the status quo and opening it to ridicule. This enabled the M&MTB to implement an equal opportunity employment policy, and she became the first female tram driver in Melbourne.

Ms Barry’s action in overcoming this barrier (in somewhat startling fashion) enabled women to aspire to fill any role in Melbourne’s tramway system, and publicly advanced the cause of sexual equality in the workplace in Australia – particularly as female tram drivers were highly visible to the general populace."

there was still a lot of resentment towards womyn (and male 'sympathisers') in the 'old boy network' ranks - believe me they could make your life very difficult - and some managers and union delegates continued to 'stymie'  applications by womyn to become drivers - however some depots were more 'accepting' than others...

friends of hawthorn tram depot (the 'training' depot for connies) have some wonderful articles if you're interested in reading more...

there were many heartwarming (and some heartwrenching) sights and happenings on the trams - it was a valuable experience - you really were working amongst the public... i'm definitely a 'bring back connies' supporter...

i was surprised at how hard it has been to find pictures of connies over the decades – i would have liked to show a timeline of the changes in uniform – i was around at the time of the brown uniform – yellow shirt, brown tie, brown trousers or skirt (another hard fought and fairly recent battle for womyn - the right to wear trousers!) and brown jacket...

here are some pictures of female connies during ww2… "It was not until 1941 that the first conductresses were employed by the Melbourne & Metropolitan Tramways Board to relieve the manpower shortages experienced during the Second World War. However, women were banned from driving trams, as it was thought that it was an unsuitable occupation for the more delicate sex, and thus were not eligible for the higher status and pay awarded to tram drivers."