life, work and no space...

it's been an odd week...

there was Maureen’s funeral, where i also caught up with old friends, acquaintances and family i haven't seen in ages...

I did a split shift on thursday finishing the late shift with Steph and Pete – we all used to work the Thursday night shift regularly together so it was just like ‘the old days’ - even down to catching up for a quick drink afterwards - doing a split shift meant i could spare half an hour after work before dashing home to allie...

I went to a LibMark digital marketing seminar and discovered how far behind ‘the 8 ball’ we are at work... other libraries are using open source software, multiple blogs, wiki's, podcasts, twitter, facebook and so much more – and they have teams to maintain all of these things... Phil and I thought the whole marketing TEAM should have been at this (some other libraries had 4-5 representatives there!!!!) - just because it involves the world wide web doesn't make it an IT issue - it's pure marketing - 'selling' the library to the 'nth' degree via online applications!!!! we realised how desperately the marketing team needs to be ‘revived’ and ‘revitalized’ ... we need people who can embrace the ‘social media’ and web 2.0 developments... we need to keep up to date with what’s going on out there in the public library sector... we need to research extensively... we need people who are enthusiastic about the technology, and of course we need more staff hours...

oooh, i've also had me brother staying with me for the last couple of weeks - he's homeless and unemployed at the moment and trying to get placed in public housing through either the port phillip housing association (where he could be close to our mother) or western region housing (where he could be close to his daughter and grandkids) - hopefully something will happen soon with one or the other because there is very little room in my tiny wee flat for 2 adults (with totally different 'takes' on the world - we're like chalk and cheese!!), me old girl and shadow-lad - and somehow it feels even smaller, darker and dingier being so overcrowded!!!!

On the relaxation side, me and 'the kids' had the flat to ourselves today so i had a pleasant afternoon sitting in the courtyard finishing Leah Giarratano’s latest novel “Black Ice”... the 3rd in the Jill Jackson series...

in this book we find her working undercover in Sydney’s drugs underworld.

We’re introduced to a variety of disparate characters - Damien, the uni chemistry student making extremely sought after ‘ice’ but getting in a bit over his head with the prevailing drug barons – and they’re nasty, nasty people; there’s Jill's own relationship with her sister Cassie, who's entangled in her dealer-cum-lover's seedy life - and he's a very rich and powerful lawyer who also happened to be the reason Seren (short for Serendipity) was busted when she was unknowingly carrying drugs and did 12 months in gaol – now she's really pissed off and out to get revenge...

i really enjoy this author's work... she takes you into the worlds of her characters and weaves a wonderful tale...

and now to decide what to read next... 'Vanished' - the latest in the Greywalker series by Kat Richardson, is looking good!!!

ya woulda been proud Maus....

It was Maureen's funeral today - such a sad occasion - such an incredible turn out... people were forced to stand outside - such a loved woman!!!!

I remember dancing and singing to the Supremes many times on the coffee table with Maus, Lisa and Joan - of course, she always had to be Diana Ross (but she did have the hair - only red instead of black) - and of course we were pissed off our faces (and speeding off our tits - they were the drugs she loved - booze and speed - and the 'odd, occasional' blue or green pill!!!) and she had the 'wickedest' and best sense of humour - so big a part of why she was loved sooooo much...

Apart from all the good times, she also helped me through a very dark time... i will always remember you were the one who was there in my bleakest moment many years ago... thank you dear friend...

I was talking to Joan, her friend of 40 years after the ceremony (and poor Joan lost both of her parents this year, and now her best friend) - she said she couldn't help thinking "where the fuck is Maureen - she should be here to enjoy this!!!" I think that's how we all felt...

Be proud of your kids woman - they did it well today... they put together a beautiful service - the photos, the words, the music = it just typified you... of course there was The Supemes, and one of the loveliest versions of 'Flame trees' i've heard... by Sarah Blasko, which i'm going to leave you with while i drink a toast in your name sister...

there's so much more that could be said, but i'm more emotional than i thought i would be now so i'll just say farewell maus (but you would have got a buzz that i got your age wrong - i told everyone you were 3 years younger than me - you were only a year and a half younger - you would have liked that !!!!) .... we moved on different paths over the years but you will always be in my heart and thoughts... you've left such a gap in so many people's lives...

cheers sister...

sad news...

another family member and friend died today and needs to be farewelled... she went into cardiac arrest this morning, but was oxygen-deprived for way too long... all life support is to be turned off tomorrow morning - once her father arrives from queensland...

it was only a few short weeks ago that Maureen, friend of old and 'sister-in-law' - my brother's partner after irene - mother of my nephew Benjamin and niece Jessica - felt ill and went into hospital only to be diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that had moved from her liver to her stomach... such rapidity... she was to turn 51 later this month...

i used this poem by 'anon' when Janis died, but it is beautiful so i will use it again (but such a pity i can't give proper credit for it)...

They are not dead,

those who leave us this great heritage of remembering joy.

They still live in our hearts,

in the happiness we knew, in the dreams we shared.

They still breathe in the lingering fragrance,

windblown, from their favourite flowers.

They still smile in the moonlight’s silver,

and laugh in the sunlight’s sparkling gold.

They still speak in the echoes of the words we’ve heard them say

again and again.

They still move, in the rhythm of waving grasses,

in the dance of the tossing branches.

They are not dead;

their memory is warm in our hearts,

comfort in our sorrow.

They are not apart from us, but part of us, always.

FAREWELL MAUREEN

i'm feeling such incredible loneliness at the moment... i so miss what's been lost... my best friend, my companion, my soulmate...

We were together for so very long – in each others’ lives since 1975 (you might have noticed i’ve stalled a bit on my reminiscences of the 70s!!!)...

how do you fill that void?? the companionship of someone you’re totally comfortable with – someone who finds the same (black) humour in things as you – who shares similar politics and feels the same anger at injustices – someone to share wonderful moments with - to share companionable silences with - so much better than the silence of one... someone to cook with - to share meals with... someone to share the days happenings with... someone to share the day to day stuff with... to share the old girl's last journey with... to share pain and sorrow with...

i keep thinking "oooh, i must tell brann..." - i miss our conversations - i miss his company - i miss his presence... i miss the intimacy of our years together...

i miss the wee louie too... i miss my family being together... i grieve for what's gone...

Loneliness is a presence, a being
By Mary Lou Beverly

Loneliness is a presence, a being,
Not always evil, but always textural.
Filled with a weight and substance
That is at the same time thick and wispy.
Once, Escaping from the corner of my eye as a thin, lacy trail,
Then sitting on my heart with a crushing, stifling pressure.

Oh, You’re back, I say.
Dare I think you might leave me forever?
You’re just a memory away, a gentle sigh’s distance from my waking thought.
A familiar, yet unwelcome embrace that softly brushes my heart, then
Returns to assert the heaviness of a wrestler’s mighty hold.

Loneliness is a presence, a being
An old enemy/friend/lover who stalks my heart.

ooohhh, looks like i'm a bit down at the moment... and i've been pre-occupied and just discovered the old girl has wee'd in her sleep (which doesn't happen regularly yet) and now i have to change the couch covers (and my comfy pants)...

a disappointing 'fizzer'....

my brother came for a visit yesterday, so we thought we'd 'mosey' on down and check out the fitzroy street fiesta...

this is how it was advertised...

Celebrate the new look Fitzroy Street on 4 October at the Fitzroy Street Fiesta.

We're closing off the beach end of Fitzroy Street for the Fitzroy Street Fiesta.

Fitzroy Street has been refurbished as part of the Foreshore Connections project.

There'll be something for everyone including:

Circa Nica - circus performances
Roller Derby demonstrations
Food
Live dj's
Special menus from some of Melbourne's leading restaurants
Rock Climbing
Mini Golf
Kids Art
Roving Entertainment

sounds like a lot happening - but it was on a very small scale... the roving entertainment we saw consisted of 2 stilt walkers... circus was a couple of jugglers...mini-golf was miniscule... food was barbecued dead animal sausages cooked right in front of the one and only dj we saw... rock climbing - well don't know where that was happening... kids art - saw a few piñatas hanging in a tree... and melbourne's leading restaurants were just the standard fitzroy street restaurants and cafes selling their normal food at mostly inflated prices...

the roller derby demonstration by the young womyn was interesting... it must have been really difficult skating on rough bitumen - it would have hurt like hell if they'd fallen over - not like the surface they'd be used to skating on... regular readers would know i was into the roller derby decades ago - i wrote about it in my post 'a bit of a 60s reminisce' ... it's become a really 'empowering' activity these days for young womyn, with teams such as THE DEAD RINGER ROSIES and the TOXIC AVENGERS...

drew barrymore has made her 'directorial debut' with a movie called 'whip it' about a young womon's search for her niche and finding her place within a roller derby team - here's a trailer - it's released this week in australia if you're interested...

anyway, unimpressed as we were with the so-called 'fiesta', we walked on around and checked out the esplanade market, and then went and got a yummy (but expensive) mediterranean pizza to share... i guess at least it was tasty - even basic pizzas can be 'hit'n'miss' these days!!!!