Monday, March 8, 2010

reclaiming my life...

yay - i'm going to have my space back this week!!!! after 4 1/2 months here, darrell's finally been offered housing!!!!! he was originally supposed to get the key last week, but it's been moved to tuesday or wednesday this week now due to needing a new stove - certainly takes "housing" a long time to replace  an electrical appliance!!!! it's a bedsit in flemington - it has an open-plan livingroom-cum-bedroom with separate kitchen and bathroom - his own compact but self-contained space in an over 55s block of units with a community room and useful facilities -  a library, flash new computers with free internet, a communal vegie patch with his own allocated plot should he want to 'get down and dirty' -  the paperwork's been signed, it's affordable on the dole at $65 per week - there's 'light at the end of the tunnel' for both of us now...

it's going to be grouse getting my life back - and having my bedroom back... i can finally get off the couch and stretch out - especially now that the old girl never even tries to get up on the bed anymore - she's happy just being under it these days... at least while he was here he was really good with allie and shadow (yep, the old girl survived another summer - i really didn't think she would but she's a battler - one determined babe!!!) - and he respected my beliefs and never cooked animal in my home - he also cleaned up a lot of piss too (yeah, old girl's incontinence can result in massive amounts of piss to clean up some days - especially when no-one's been home so she's had no access to outside all day!!!)

i can't wait - it's been hard work having someone around most of the time - it became really 'claustrophobic' in my 1 bedroom flat - and we don't have that much in common!!! we're sorta like 'chalk and cheese' actually... but never, ever again!!! i can't be bothered compromising anymore, nor dealing with radically different attitudes to beliefs i hold important - ohh, and there's the use of misogynistic and racist terminology i find totally abhorrent!!! i have to deal with that shit the best way i can to survive in the outside world, i won't do it in my own home anymore - it's not good for the sanity or the health!!!! - as you age your space as sanctuary becomes really important - you become comfortable with yourself... you realise you don't need anybody else's approval to be you...


wasn't the storm yesterday incredible?? i was working in albert park and saw the most spectacular hailstorm... and then there was the water that totally engulfed the footpath outside the library (the picture shows dorcas street south melbourne - 'just around the corner') - i watched people wading through knee-high water and saw an amazing lightning display - and was glad i was inside - although we did spring a few leaks in the library!!!! we didn't need to close like st kilda did though - and it had abated by the time we finished work...





i recently finished reading "charles manson: coming down fast" by simon wells... it's disturbing to say the least - frightening that one person could have total control over so many people - he was incredibly misogynistic and racist... he used and abused womyn terribly and was totally paranoid about a black uprising... he was a wannabe rock star with a delusional god complex - and LSD was used in vast quantities in the 60s - it made the perfect mind control drug and manson used it superbly (while creating a lot more delusions and psychoses in very malleable people searching for some direction and stability in life!!!) -  it is a very interesting read...








this is my current read - cleo, how an uppity cat helped heal a family... i've only read a few chapters and already shed tears - the beginning is heart-wrenching with the death of a young child... i think it's going to be a real heartwarming story though... and that'll be my day today - reading and resting my back which is killing me - one problem with library work - all the pushing and pulling full bins and all the twisting and bending that goes with returning, along with reaching and stretching...






it's been such a suck of a week at work - phil's gone for 12 months to explore other pursuits (good luck, but who's going to replace you???) - it's been soooo busy with lots of sickies to cover - a lot of frayed tempers and extremely tired workers (who still had weekend work to look forward to!!!)  cake and 'council function leftovers' were provided for 'the team' during the week though as a form of thank you for getting through a difficult time - unfortunately the vegans couldn't partake (no, i'm not the only vegan there) - now this strikes me as somewhat 'unfair' - hey, even fruit would be fine - it's about being valued equally, being included!!!  consequently i refuse to be silent about my exclusion - we work hard too - i know i do - is it absurd or naive to expect to be treated as an equal member of 'the team'?? i was brought up to fight for my rights and beliefs - i just can't help myself - 'don't rock the boat' has never been part of my philosophy!!

equality and inclusion are fundamental human rights as far as i'm concerned - and  i'm pretty sure the council i work for has as part of its ethos a commitment to equal rights and the inclusion of all regardless of political beliefs, religion or 'special dietary requirements' for whatever reason - guess there'll be a lot more times when those that are 'different' will feel like 'second-class members' of 'the team', or even worse - non-members!!! how the hell did phil stay a silent, compliant 'outcast' for so long??? if you stay silent nothing changes - so long as you're silent people can pretend you're just like them, therefore they don't have to think outside of their comfort zone - differences aren't taken seriously, differing views aren't explored - no 'seeds are planted' - the status quo never gets questioned or called to account and society pays a high price - it stagnates...


okay - i'm adding this paragraph Tuesday 9/3 after getting home from work - i have to say a BIG THANK YOU on behalf of the vegans at work (4 i know of,  but there may be more!!!) for the treats provided today!!!!!! i'm not sure if anyone read my post or whether it was even in response to it, but it certainly made a difference to me being able to participate (and partake of) along with everyone else today when we'd all been sooooo busy after the weekend's storm and subsequent closure of the library on sat and sun (and of course monday was a public holiday)!!!!! we all worked really hard and i am glad to be able to say i felt like part of the team!!!! vegan rum balls, pretzels and fruit - yummmmm!!!! THANK YOU (especially for taking notice if it was either Kitty or Lil - a very positive and understanding response!!!) - and now i need to go and get the animals' dinner but i needed to acknowledge vegan inclusion  today first!!!!!!



ohh, i'm getting way too old for this work caper - wish i could afford 12 months leave without pay!!! roll on retirement!!!!!



and you wouldn't believe it - after all that rain we have no water in the flats today - don't think the drainage system is coping too well with the downpour - oh well, another reason for not doing washing and mopping kitchen floor (as though my sore back wasn't enough of an excuse)!!!! hope it's back sometime soon though so i can fill the animals' water bowls!!!!





it's international womyn's day tomorrow so to all the sisters - be proud, be loud - celebrate your womonhood - revel in your female power - stay strong - maintain the fight against inequality and suffering - maybe even indulge yourself...


happy international womyns day...

2 comments:

Proud Womon said...

thank you if it was either Kitty or Lil for including me, nah, actually all staff today!!!!! i've added a paragraph in yellow to acknowledge this inclusion 'publicly'!!!!!!

Sailor Lily said...

hey, I hadn't read your blog til tonight so the fab curvy-kitty must have been looking out for you with the vegan treats. I agree with you that all food needs must be met when we cater- it was always intended for Phil but often got fucked up in the translation. I'm sure that people will always make the effort, so just keep reminding. Remember how easily we swung a lunch for you at the last minute at that meeting recently?
anyway I'm glad the right food gave you the good loving, cause food is political but its also at the heart of good old magic of the kitchen comfort kind. Something Kitty showed in her team-care today.
sorry your water is off and you can't have a bath though, baths are bliss for achey backs.
cheers,
lil.