time goes by and life goes on...

 

 my old girl’s been gone for over a month now and still i yearn for the feel of her – sometimes it feels like my whole body is aching, craving to touch her, every nerve screaming out for that sensory pleasure - i so miss caressing her… i still see her out of the corner of my eye, i look for her and talk to her, i end conversations with 'hey gang' and then look around to see the boy but no girl, i miss sharing my food with her - she loved all food, sweet and savoury... i miss her... i still weep, but then i feel her in everything around me so i get on with life…

we shared last thursday, april 21st though – my 56th birthday and the anniversary of her death exactly 4 weeks before… after a lovely visit from larry and lottie who came bearing gifts, my girl and i shared a ceremony to celebrate the occasion – surrounded by flowers and scented candles (soy wax of course) i placed some of allie’s ashes into the beautiful keepsake i purchased from furry souls… the keepsake is lovely to hold – hand-made, heart-shaped in brass and pewter which just fits into the palm and has an incredibly sensual feel... furry souls also have a memorial page and this is my tribute to my sweet beauty...

i spoke to some lovely, caring womyn during the preceding weeks when allie’s time was getting nearer – womyn who had started their own businesses to help grieving people deal with the impending loss of their companion animals, their best friends, their family members…

allie’s passing was well honoured, beautiful and serene for the old girl and me… emma whiston from my best friend was such a compassionate and caring vet who came to our home with such a calming presence… she encourages those close to be there too so as brann had known and loved her for years i invited him, and my brother darrell came too – he just adored her and was in awe of her resilience… there was one very close friend who was absent, irene, but sadly with her changing life circumstances at the time it was unable to be... but allie knew she was a friend and was loved by her... the girl was in her element – she felt love all around her when her time came, all hands were caressing her… it was a beautiful passing…

caroline higgins from paws and reflect came and collected her body for cremation a few hours later – i appreciated those fews hours, having her body here without being whisked straight away was very calming and therapeutic in the letting go, the accepting… caroline came with a beautiful purple body bag in which she placed the old girl very respectfully – another honouring of my beautiful friend…

she returned in a black scatter tin and has been surrounded by orchids which have dropped from the plant over the last month... it was given by colleagues at work (although i suspect it was mainly thanks to kirsty, katherine and amanda) to mark allie's passing with something living – a beautiful gesture and a stunning plant – and a plant that can be divided to make more living memories of my girl, each containing some of her ashes…

if you share your life with a companion animal i can’t recommend the above people highly enough when your friend’s journey is coming to an end… they understand the bond and give the respect deserved...

here’s a slideshow of my beautiful friend over the years, from 1996 when she came into my life at 4 years of age, to 2011...

as they say, 'time heals'... it was allie's time and she lived to a grand old age - 19, but the tears still flow at times... my girl will always be in my heart and memories though... and i know that she would expect me to rescue someone else, to give another babe a chance, a home, but that will be in the future - i'll know when it's the right time, when i'm being called - but for now it's shadow's time to have me to himself for a while... 

i've had the last week off - it was an opportune time to take the minimum amount of my own leave while having the maximum amount of days off due to the public holidays, but it's back to work tomorrow - i needed that break though to reflect and reminisce, and it turned out to be a very pleasurable time with visits from kirsty, and michael and lottie, being taken out for dinner by steph and pete, lunch shouted by the mother and aunt (which meant food from veg out to go - neither felt well enough to get out so they paid and lunch and i came to them), and then i had a lovely dinner cooked for me on monday evening by brann... it's been nice to catch up with friends - a lovely birthday week...

looks like i'll be blogging again - it's time to come back to it but i don't know how regularly yet... so many topics to blog about, but this post is enough for today...

awesome autumn....

what a glorious autumn day... so i thought a stroll along the esplanade (st kilda) market might be in order - i've got this week off work and with my birthday on wednesday i thought i'd treat myself... i've been thinking it's time to 'retire' the escher prints that i've lived with for way too long and buy myself a nice piece of brightly coloured artwork... i'm not sure what i'd like - something that'll complement my wall hanging... maybe a local scene, or a retro style graphic, possibly a streetscape or landscape - perhaps something with an autumnal theme ... let's face it, i really don't know what i want...

i ended up catching the tram around - hey, it was warmer than i thought once i got outside - but there were soooo many people i just kept going on to the supermarket - "maybe i'll check it out on the way back" i thought - but no, still way too many people (that'll teach me for not getting 'out and about' earlier)... guess i'll just keep pondering the prospect for a while... more time for inspiration (or is that procrastination??)

while on the topic of artwork, i came across this amazing tattoo on a blog post by vegan cookbook author jennifer mccann - she was 'talking' pomegranates and so shared her tat - absolutely stunning... it was created by amanda myers - if only she painted on canvas!!! (but i'll betchya a full sleeve like that don't come cheap - or painlessly!!!)

with a penchant for all things 1940s and those war themed, i thought you might be interested in this one curvy kitty... the prahran mechanics' institute victorian history library have a display starting tomorrow and finishing saturday may 1 (although you're probably a member and already know about it!!!)

ww2 art deco aeroplane ashtrays... apparently they were extremely popular... 

"between the late l930s and the early 1950s many Australian households gave pride of place to at least one such ashtray. Not only did their stylised appearance and shiny finish add a touch of modernity to contemporory decor, but the choice of subiect matter touched emotions lodged deep in the hearts of our grandparents."

oooh, i didn't realise it was so late in the afternoon - i'm off into the kitchen to make a yummy spicy bean dish for dinner but i just have to share some pictures of my cute wee shadow taken the other night when i was going to bed - this is the boy enjoying one of the 'hugo' library bags from work... talk about colour co-ordination and style - the accessory no cat should be without!!!

hmmmm, good enough to curl up and snooze in....

and i can't go without wishing sailor lily...

we're both autumn 'n' april born womyn - a beautiful season!!!

"There is a harmony in autumn,

and a luster in its sky,

which through the summer is not heard or seen,

as if it could not be,

as if it had not been!" Percy Bysshe Shelley

54... who woulda thought??

and you know you're getting old(er) when cards like this start turning up...

feeling very lazy... it's been a good birthday week... caught up with Sailor Lil on tuesday - she made a delicious lunch and we shared a bottle of wine (i had a tad more of it though!)... saw the wee baby Finn and Chris too - they're all doin' okay... just working out their own rhythm - takes a while - such major life change... it was a very enjoyable, companionable afternoon... had another delicious evening meal with Irene and Brann - indian from Kantipur restaurant - best indian i've had for a long time... got some beautiful gifts - don't mind aging at all...

have been scanning some photos this morning and 'playing around' with my first 70s post... trying to get the sequence of things right - not so easy 'these days'...

i definitely 'left' school somewhere around august 1970 - we were very much a working class family and my mother was determined i'd get a good office job before the end of the year when there'd be hordes of school-leavers looking for work - so she arranged an interview for me and i got my very first job as a receptionist - there were a lot of male employees - it was extremely intimidating, but totally exhilarating - after all, i had come straight from a very poor, catholic, all-girls school - holy redeemer (no redeeming went on there!!!)!!!

i was now 'out in the world' - i was earning money - i was 'almost' an adult - I was 15, going on 16 years of age and 'the world' was just opening up for me - it was the start of the 70s, and i was ready to experience 'adult' life!!!



oooh, got caught up 'thinking out loud' and spent more time than i meant to on this - it was just going to be a quick post about my birthday!!! so i need to go and do some other things, think about the past and leave you with this photo (circa 1970 according to me mum's dating, 1971 according to mine!) - anyway i was either 15 or 16 - and i was wearing the fashion of the day - the midi and maxi-skirts we back in vogue!!!! (bet you're sorry you can't see that!!!)

sorry about the quality of the scanned photo... we only had 'crude' technology in those days compared to now...



anyway, more soon... now i'm really taking Louie for his walk, while the old girl is crashed out...