when is the right time to say goodbye?

how do i make the decision to end my loyal old friends life? dare I make that decision when she can't tell me if she's had enough? or am i scared to make that decision - for me, or her?


how will i cope without my most beautiful, best friend - the friend that's been through life's dramas with me - shared every day of our lives for the past 14 years? has always been there for me no matter what?



she had such a terrible night on thursday - she was so very distressed... i succumbed and gave her half a tranquilizer to help calm her... so potent - she just passed right out... and when she finally came round watching her trying to stand on her weak, wonky legs distressed me - it was so hard for her to even get up - my heart ached... i was sure the decision was made...

i spent the day with her yesterday just caressing her, massaging her, brushing her, singing to her (even though she's deaf)... it was a beautiful, sensual day with my beautiful, sensual babe...

and today she is calm, walking out into the courtyard, enjoying the sunshine, and life (in an elderly persons way) and just being her loving, ancient, wise, daggy-dog self...

i long for you to live forever -
i'm willing you pass peacefully in your sleep...
this week i may have to make the decision...
and then i'll deeply weep.

a heartfelt thank you Lil' for your most beautiful, caring post for my Allie and me... my friend, my sister... for sharon and allie...